Theraverse . May 30, 2025

Looking for a therapist can feel a lot like shopping for jeans: everything looks good online, but the real test is how you feel once you try them on. And yes, therapy can feel life-changing but only if you’re sitting across from the right person. Along with credentials, curiosity, connection, and comfort also matter.

Whether you’re a first-timer or looking for a better fit after a not-so-great experience, finding the right therapist can feel scary. There’s no magic formula, but there are signs, questions, and gut feelings worth paying attention to.

In this guide, we move beyond the usual credentials-and-fees checklist. We’ll explore how to spot green flags, tune into your instincts, and figure out what kind of therapeutic relationship might actually help you grow. Consider it your cheat sheet for choosing someone who doesn’t just feel “qualified” but truly feels right.

Sometimes, finding the right therapist isn’t love at first session and that’s okay. Like any meaningful relationship, it can take a few tries to find someone who really gets you, challenges you with care, and makes you feel emotionally safe. It’s not a failure to switch therapists, it’s a sign that you’re honoring your needs and tuning into what actually works for you. Some therapists might be great but not the right fit for you and you’re allowed to explore, reflect, and try again until something clicks. Therapy is a space where you’re meant to be met, not managed and it’s worth holding out for that feeling.

What to look for:

(The following are a list of important pointers to keep in mind along with few questions you can ask yourself to introspect further)

1. Notice your body language during your first session and how you feel after but don’t jump to conclusions yet.
   1. Did the therapist feel present or rushed?
   2. Did you feel like “just another appointment” or like a person?
   3. Could you imagine telling this person something uncomfortable?

2. Specializations and beyond – therapists have specific certifications in certain modalities like CBT, trauma work, psychodynamic, gestalt and more. And some therapists work on certain types of issues such as women’s health, mood disorders, personality disorders. Taking the time to read up on their area of expertise and style of practise is important but does not give you all the information, so asking yourself these can help.
   1. Can they sit with discomfort without rushing to fix?
   2. Do they track your emotions or just the story?
   3. Are they curious in a way that feels respectful, not invasive?

3. Take some time to think about what your goals and expectations from this process are. Here’s a worksheet that can help you think further about the direction in therapy. And remember that the goals can and will inevitably evolve over time.
   1. Do you want tools and strategies for a current issue or are you looking for something long term?
   2. Do you need a space to just feel and reflect or do you need a more change-oriented approach that is directive?
   3. Do you looking to understand your past patterns?

4. Some therapists offer a sliding scale for charges especially for students and sometimes they also offer a discovery call which is usually a 10–15-minute audio call detailing what they offer and clarifying any preliminary queries like,
   1. Can you help me understand how the process of therapy works with you?
   2. Are there any specific modalities or issues that you specialise in?
   3. Is there a structure or non-negotiables that I need to keep in mind?

5. When you want to terminate with a therapist after the first session, I would suggest giving it at least 3-6 sessions just to be sure. Sometimes it takes a couple of sessions for the rapport to get formed and for you to get acquainted to the therapist’s style. But in case you are looking to terminate, here are few ways to communicate.
   1. I’m grateful for the work we’ve done, but I feel I need something different now.
   2. I’m noticing that the kind of support I need is shifting, and I think it might be time for me to transition into something that aligns more with me now.
   3. I’ve been reflecting on our work together and I’m wondering if we could talk about how it’s been feeling for me lately
   4. I’ve been feeling a bit disconnected in sessions recently, and I’m trying to figure out what that might mean. Would you be open to talking about it?

Few green flags to look for!

• You feel slightly more “yourself” after the session, not less.
• They pause when something emotional lands, rather than rushing forward.
• They remember small details you shared.
• You can disagree with them, and they get curious, not defensive.
• You don’t feel the need to perform “being a good client or healing one”
• You feel emotionally met, not just intellectually understood.
• You feel comfortable feeling uncomfortable in the therapeutic space.

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By,

Jensita Grace,

In-house Psychologist, Theraverse

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Resources:

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-find-a-therapist

https://www.therapistaid.com/therapy-worksheet/therapy-goals

https://mind-berry.com/articles/what-to-look-for-in-a-good-therapist