I am a huge film enthusiast so I love reading about film and the art of storytelling. The Call to Adventure is a crucial storytelling moment, marking the point when the protagonist is invited (or forced) to leave their ordinary world and embark on a transformative journey due to an event, conflict, transition, happenstance or any change. Colloquially in lay terms you may have even heard people say “…and the plot thickens” when this happens.
One of my favorite questions to ask in therapy is what brings you here and why now? I truly believe that, in the film that is their life, the answer to this question would help me uncover their call to adventure. Many people contemplate about getting into therapy for months, even years sometimes, before they actually take the first step. So, it is important for me as a psychologist, to figure out what made therapy most relevant to this phase of their life. And this understanding of what makes our narratives converge, will help us identify our purpose going forward, which are the goals in therapy.
If you are already in therapy, or looking to start your therapeutic journey, here are 5 things you absolutely need to know about goal setting, that will most certainly aid you to a large extent.
Destinations and reroutes
Most people would have a vague sense of what they want from or through therapy, these are the destinations. For example, I want to process the loss of my partner or I want to manage my anxiety. This farsightedness is crucial in knowing the sense of direction in therapy and a lot of therapists ask about this in the first session itself.
But we can only choose these destinations from whatever information we already know and have access to. During the due course of therapy, we might embark on some new alleyways and dead ends that would require immediate attention. For example, Noticing faulty coping mechanisms or unprocessed childhood trauma. Being open to and creating ad-hoc goals for what we are finding out, along with what we already know is what I call “reroutes”.
Incorporating these impromptu discoveries and goals are what make therapy a long process. But it’s important to remember not to view reroutes as derailing us from the destinations as they are the ones making this journey of growth more sustainable.
Heart, brain, behavior goals
Most commonly goals fall under these three categories. Heart goals are the ones where change in expected on an emotional and relational level. For example, I want to develop self-compassion or I want to understand my attachment style. These goals usually have to do with self-awareness, emotional processing and relationships.
The brain goals have to do with mindset and perception. For example, I want to reduce overthinking or reduce the inner critic noise and increase gratitude. These goals help tackle unhealthy thought patterns and beliefs.
Finally, behaviour goals are the practical changes one wants to make. For example, I want to communicate assertively to authority or I want to fix my sleep cycle.
Process goals
While outcome goals focus on achieving a specific result for example, reducing anxiety, improving relationships, process goals focus on the steps and actions taken within therapy to facilitate growth and change.
Think of process goals as the “how” rather than the “what” as they emphasize engagement, self-awareness, and skill-building rather than a fixed endpoint. For example, I want to show up consistently for therapy or I will keep a gratitude journal.
Pat-stops
When parents ask me for any parenting tips, my go-to is telling them to take their kids out the day they complete their exams and not just on the day they get their results, as it is just as important to celebrate efforts as much as wins. So “pat stops” are a small list of activities or rewards we can go to when we notice changes or to acknowledge efforts towards our goals, taking some time in the day to give a pat on our backs, can help remind us why we do what we do and also motivates us to keep going.
Co-passengers
“Whatever his story, he no longer needs to be alone with it”
- Carl Rogers (American Psychologist)
I believe my purpose in therapy is to make sure my clients don’t feel alone in their journey anymore. They may be the protagonist but as a co-passenger in therapy, the adventure is undeniably also mine to go on now. And that is why everything we learnt about goal setting now, has to be a collaborative effort and an ongoing dialogue.
To wrap up,
Everything I’ve written here about goal-setting comes from whatever I have experienced in therapy with my clients. Over the several hundred hours in therapy, these are what I believe to be non-negotiables in understanding goals. But another simple, yet crucial aspect to setting goals is keeping in mind that the progress does not have to be linear.
G – Goal
R – Reality (consider realistically redefining the goal if required and understand past mistakes)
O – Options (explore about the new ways you can approach this goal)
W – Way Forward (prepare ahead for potential obstacles, list three small steps you could take to start bringing yourself closer to this goal within the next 24 hours)
Here are a few worksheets that can get you started, happy journey!
By,
Jensita Grace
In-house Psychologist, Talk Therapy Clinic
.
Resources:
https://positivepsychology.com/goal-setting-counseling-therapy/
https://blog.opencounseling.com/setting-goals-for-therapy/
https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/therapy-goals